Explanation of Instructions

What it says: "Batteries not included"



What it means: "Batteries do not come with this product, and

you're going to have to buy them yourself. Moreover, it uses

unique batteries that you won't find anywhere but a

specialty store, where you'll pay twice as much for them."



_____________________________



What it says: "Some restrictions apply"



What it means: "Somehow, some way, we'll find a way to

exclude you."



_____________________________



What it says: "May cause drowsiness"



What it means: "Expect a sudden bout with narcolepsy while

you're driving to work."



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What it says: "Some assembly required"



What it means: "Take the day off and borrow your neighbor's

2,000-piece tool kit. Don't make any other plans for the

day."



----------- Today's saying or thought ---------------------



Raisin cookies that look like chocolate chip cookies are

the main reason I have trust issues.