A heap of short jokes

A little girl, dressed in her Sunday best, was running as fast as she
could, trying not to be late for Bible class. As she ran she prayed, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late! Dear Lord, please don't let me be late!'
While she was running and praying, she tripped on a curb and fell, getting her clothes dirty and tearing her dress. She got up, brushed herself off, and started running again!
As she ran she once again began to pray, 'Dear Lord, please don't let me be late...But please Don't shove me either!'

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An elderly woman died last month. Having never married, she requested no male Pallbearers.
In her handwritten instructions for her memorial Service, she wrote, 'They wouldn't take me out while I was alive, I don't want them to take me out when I'm dead'

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Attending a wedding for the first time, a little girl whispered to her Mother “Why is the Bride dressed in white?”
The mother replied, “Because white is the colour of happiness and this is the happiest day of her life”
The child thought about this for a minute then said “Why is the Groom wearing black?”
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A police recruit was asked during the exam, “What would you do if you had to arrest your own Mother?”
He answered “Call for backup.”

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A Sunday School teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem.
A small child replied, 'They couldn't get a baby-sitter.'

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A Sunday school teacher was discussing the Ten Commandments with her five and six year olds.
After explaining the commandment to 'Honour thy Father and thy Mother,' she asked,
'Is there a commandment that teaches us how to treat our brothers and sisters?'
Without missing a beat, one little boy answered, 'Thou shall not kill.'

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At Sunday School they were teaching how God Created everything, including human beings.
Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?'
Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'
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You don't stop laughing because you grow old..... You grow old because you stop laughing!
Take heed and pass these along to people who need a laugh.
I thought you would enjoy this....times are tough right now...for all of us...so we need something to make the day a happy place.

"THEY" HAVEN'T FOUND A WAY TO TAX YOU FOR LAUGHING YET.

Kryn